Out and about in the Gogos and bars.
Having just spent three months in the Philippines drinking SML (San Miguel Light) I find it irritating, if not damned annoying, to keep getting lemon stuffed in the top of my bottle when I order one here. If I wanted something with lemon I would have a gin. This lemon in SML is an only in Thailand concept. The reason for putting lemon in the top of a bottle is not taste but to keep off the flies! In these times of recession maybe bar owners can save themselves a few Baht by stopping their staff from adulterating my beer with lemon!
I was in Nana Plaza on Friday and quiet was the only word that could be used. It looked like a Tuesday night at the bottom of the low season, not a Friday running up to the peak season. Earlier I had been in a bar on Soi 4 and the manager there, who had been in soi 4 for over ten years, said he had never seen it so quiet. As I wandered from empty gogo to empty gogo I could not help but reflect on the D word as they keep calling it in the financial press. Deflation, when prices actually go down rather than up. I wondered whether anybody had a brain left in the bar management area and was thinking ‘How do I deal with this?’ Maybe a 135 Baht beer in an empty bar is too much. Maybe if all the bar owners in Nana got together and said ‘Why don’t we put beer down to 100, that will at least give us something to crow about and maybe will get back some of the business we have lost to Cowboy. It might after all be better to sell five beers at 100 than 1 beer at 135.’ Nah silly! I realised how unlikely my thoughts were; pigs might fly first, and ice cream stop melting in the sun, before that happens. So Nana Plaza is now not only dirty, scruffy, approached through a crowd of thieves and beggars but empty as well. I really cannot think of one reason to go there!
One place devoid of deflation is Mojos in Soi 33 where my Saturday night beer cost me 149 Baht (before 9pm it would have been 99 Baht). The place was reasonably busy with the crowd drawn in by the rugby shown earlier on the big screen at the Office opposite and the excellent Amy and the 63 Highway Band. As ever the Coyote Girls provided the icing on the cake. I fully understand the cost pressures, particularly if you employ a Band and a dozen dancing girls but in this time of financial meltdown, not to mention the dramatic fall in currency value for many, I must question whether stuffing up prices is really a good move, especially when you let amateur singers screw up what is an otherwise great band. If I wanted karaoke I would go to a bar that advertises that and at least my beer would not be 149 Baht.
On the subject of Coyote Dancers I was drawn into Apache that boasts it has coyote dancers. The reason I dropped in was because the Iranian, or Arab, next door has erected some metal art form, (or is it just a screen to go with the shower curtains elsewhere?) to block the Apache sign. The stupidity is that it does indeed block the Apache sign from one side, but it blocks his Deja Vu sign from the other side. Obviously some deep thought went into that. In addition I discovered the Coyote Girls in Apache make the Coyote Girls in Mojos look distinctly over dressed.
The early days of Queen Victoria pub in Soi 23 have been trying for the No Name Group, with the manager picked to run the place proving once again that moving from the UK to Thailand to run a bar is not necessarily a good move. Especially if you refuse to re-programme your skills to Thai mode, and even more so if you then pick up several pieces of baggage in the shape of the Thai female form. However it will improve as I am pleased to report that Peter Street, formerly of Bobby’s Arm’s, Chequers and Mojos, has now taken over as manager. A lot of money has been spent on creating a very credible pub interior and not a Guinness picture or knick knack is in sight. It has a large and well equipped kitchen and I am sure that Peter will be able to help create a proper local in this great location although it may take a week or two to sort out some of his predecessor’s blunders. I expect I will partake of my Christmas turkey there as I was discussing with Peter the fine art of making brandy butter to go on the pud. I do like brandy butter. Custard on Christmas pudding is for wimps!
With the world falling down around us I was amused to receive an email with this offer:
Situated in the heart of lower Sukhumvit, in a brand new 550 square meter prime location, Electric Avenue will be Bangkok's newest live music venue. Current investors' commitment stand at approximately 60% of the total capital required and our goal is to raise the remaining 40% before December 15th, 2008. Our Design and Build crew are standing by and we have targeted February 15, 2009 as the opening day.
We are offering the remaining shares at 500,000baht per unit, with only 12 units available. Your investment is projected to yield 100% return within 18 months of operation, and at least 100% per year, each year following. If you have ever wanted to own a bar, (not a beer-bar), now is the time to act.
Did I have stupid written on my email inbox. 100% return per annum! I have put that to a few bar owners and when they stop laughing they suggest I might have had a better chance in a pyramid scheme in Columbia although one suspects the person who sent the mail had been participating too much in a substance from that country! I saw that Stickman mentioned this ‘how to get poor quick scheme’ with a comment about minority shareholdings not being worth the paper they are written on. Certainly half a million Baht for a 3.3% share looks like a sure fire way to lose the best part of ten grand.
If the economic downturn and the chaos in Thailand was not enough that nice man at Fluid Asia Pacific, Rob Murray, has had a real kick in the nuts. This is as a result of the takeover of Scottish and Newcastle by Carlsberg and Heineken. The two then divided up the business between themselves and as a result FAP can no longer get supplies of John Smith’s and Strongbow. It seems a strange decision by Heineken when you consider all the hard work that has gone into making FAP one of the most successful boutique beer importers in the country.
However Rob has now learnt one of those hard lessons of business: never have just one supplier. He has been running round getting new sources in place and Weston’s Cider should be here in about ten days, with Tetley’s Bitter following early in the New Year. After that a string of new products will appear including London Pride, London Stout and Fosters. I am sorry for Rob and all the challenges he has faced; he is certainly a man who deserves to do well. However I prefer Weston’s to Strongbow and I might even drink the odd pint of London Pride as I have always regarded John Smith’s as on a par with making love in a punt!
We have some Baronbonk polo shirts which we were selling some years ago and they have sat doing nothing. They are white with a Baronbonk logo, on the pocket, that says ‘Never knowingly PC,’ and on the back either plain, or ‘Women should be pampered and not heard,’ or ‘Foxes were made for hunting.’
If anybody goes into the Upright Media office, above the Cafe in Omni Tower (Soi 4) the give way price is 200 Baht for one, or 3 for the price of 2. Sizes are large and extra large and XXL.
With Christmas and the New Year nearly upon us may I wish you a good one on both counts and hope if you are a bar owner there is more business about than is feared.
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