Patpong Despair
Patpong is an area that evokes simple emotions – people either hate it or love it. These who hate it will tell you it is run by gypsies, tramps and thieves or the Thai nightlife equivalent of them: touts, dishonest mamasans and katoeys. Then there are those who have been around for long enough to remember when Patpong was Bangkok 's only real nightlife area, and played there and enjoyed it. Then Randy was a newcomer, the Rififi was the best afternoon spot, the Grand Prix was the place to go, and the girls in the Tavern were just mothers. Now Randy has been around for nearly 20 years, the Rififi is closed in the afternoons and is now called CEB, the Grand Prix is Camelot Castle and the Tavern Girls are well….grandmothers. I mention these places because they all came into play the other night when my continued support of all things Patpong was severely tested.
It all began in Convent Road just across Silom Road from Patpong where I had a meeting in The Irish Exchange, after the meeting we had a couple of drinks and then a friend arrived, and at about 7.30 pm I found myself with 2 GTGs, one married to a farang. I was wondering how to escape when I was asked where I was going. I said as I was in that area I would dine at La Bouchon in Patpong 2 and, being a gentleman, I felt obliged to ask them to join me. One of the girls had been to Bouchon before. The other had never even been in Patpong. Fearing that I may not get a table, I fairly rushed the girls down Patpong 2. It was when I started going behind the bars halfway down the street I suddenly realised how appalling scruffy and seedy this bit was. The Star of Love does not actually have blow jobs written outside but the girls sitting there are barely likely to attract customers for their good looks and high intellect. I have never thought about it before, but here I was in polite company. Of course Le Bouchon is a beacon of civility in this area, and I suppose it could only be a French bistro that could survive here. The French simply accept red light districts whereas we prudish Brits and our Cousins across the water turn our noses up and then turn away. After a satisfactory dinner I whisked my two GTG off the park and trundled down to the ATM at the bottom of Patpong 2. I peered into the Tavern, once always my first stop in Thailand on any visit, and decided I could not face the totally faded interior and the worn-out girls within another point concentrating my mind on how unpleasant this area has now become.
My next call was Club Electric Blue which was reasonably fall, compared to a few months ago, but it was not the music that got my attention though it indeed did seem a trifle less onerous in terms of decibels. No, it was what was on the stage. Katoeys! Surely not! Had I not once been told there would never be katoys here? As a couple flunked off the stage I knew the Rififi really was dead. Then a group appeared and were weihed into the seats next to me at the bar and a bottle of JW Black appeared as if by magic. I may be wrong, but I have seen enough Mafia-style figures to know what I thought. Time to move on, and maybe to give CEB a miss in future.
I trundled through the alley to Goldfinger, a bar which is still an enigma to many. Yes it is a gogo bar in the middle of arguably the hottest gogo bar strip in the world. But in reality, it is just the home of Randy. I still enjoy the bar but since the demise of the old Rififi this seems to have become the yartzee and bar game centre. There is always some kind of game going on in Randy's corner. There were some comments about this on a local web board and the view was that Goldfinger is getting too cliquey and too much into games. That does not make it a bad place – but it's not the place it once was!
So on to Camelot Castle , not the best of the three Kings Group gogos in a row between the the two passages to Patpong 2, but one I have generally enjoyed over the years. As I walked in, the manager greeted me with smiles saying they are now selling Tiger. This is because for months I have refused to go in as they did not replace Carlsberg with Tiger, as most bars did. But now they have Tiger, all part of a price increase from 90 Baht a beer to 100 Baht. So I settled back and watched the dancers. A pleasant girl turned up by my side and not too pushy, so I bought her a drink. I then bought myself and the girl another drink. An aging women turned up and greeted me like a long lost friend. "Mamasan know you long time," I was told by a service girl. I smiled and mamasan moved in for the kill, or should I say drink! Anyway I refused that politely and I am sure I have never seen her before. But of course I might have done. Chek bin time came and now everything did go tits up. My bill, as I knew was, 400 Baht and now the Kings Group have a system whereby you have to sign for every drink, presumably to stop the bill padding they were notorious for. So I pulled out a 1,000 Baht note and held it up so the service girl could see it and said a 1,000 Baht. Of course I got change for 500 Baht. The service girl quickly turned on the girl with me and said something. The dancer looked at me with an expression that shouted what can I do? She knew very well. I went over to the cashier's desk and remonstrated and they all thought it was funny, as did the manager when he appeared. I left leaving no tip (of course).
Still steaming, I caterpillered up to Silom Road where as usual the police were stopping legitimate taxis from doing their job and only allowing a few bent taxis in. A taxi with its light on pulled up. "Meter?" I asked.
“Yes”, I was told, so I go it in. The taxi started off. "Meter," I stated.
"150 baht okay."
"No…. meter," I demanded. The driver laughed. I pulled on the handbrake and opened the door and used a little old fashioned Anglo Saxon in a very brief farewell to him. I then crossed Silom Road and caught a taxi, as usual, on Convent Road .
So that was my last night in Patpong and I keep asking myself: For one single reason, why I should go back?
Note
I am sure there will be more similar problems at the Kings Group. By introducing the bill signing they have stopped a fiddle, but they have not changed the staff. Staff will not take a pay cut so they will look for another way to get the money. Anybody involved in the bar or any business for that matter, knows if you have staff on the fiddle there is only one solution. Get rid of them and then cut out the option.
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